My dad called me and this is the conversation we had (reminder my family is a little crazy):
Dad: I had a good trip visiting my sister and Mom in LA.
Me: That's exciting .
Dad: expect for Grandma.
Me: Oh yeah.
Dad: Yeah she got herself constipated.
Me: Oh yeah.
Dad: Yeah it was really bad we had to take her to the hospital to get her manually cleaned out.
Me: You didn't need to share that.
Dad: I could have told you more.
1. Um Gross why does my family insist on over sharing.
2. How does on chose to be constipated
3. I need a new family who has a desire to share less.
Happy Monday
For all those moments in life that leave you going "Did That Just Happen?" -In my job I work with college students who are often testing limits and creating new ways to leave me and my staff baffled. My family like any other are a bit nuts and I am finding myself sitting back going wait… hang on… yup that just happened. When these moments happen my brain fills with witty little comments which I should not share out loud; so I will share those moments here instead.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
By Dradle you mean...
While at Walmart (you should not be surprised) I had the following conversation with an employee:
Me "Excuse me miss do you have any Dradles?"
Walmart "Whats a Dradle?"
Me "The game kids play at Hanukkah"
Walmart "Ohhhhh, you mean that candle thing."
Me "Not exactly"
1. I wish is this is where the conversation ended but it went on to her asking why anyone would want something Hanukkah related (this makes me sad)
2. Yes by game I mean the candle thing, I would like the children to run around with a flaming candle. Lets see how long it takes before we burn the house down.
3. Dradle = small top kids use to bet chocolate , Menorah = a nine branched candelabrum lit during Hanukkah.
Me "Excuse me miss do you have any Dradles?"
Walmart "Whats a Dradle?"
Me "The game kids play at Hanukkah"
Walmart "Ohhhhh, you mean that candle thing."
Me "Not exactly"
1. I wish is this is where the conversation ended but it went on to her asking why anyone would want something Hanukkah related (this makes me sad)
2. Yes by game I mean the candle thing, I would like the children to run around with a flaming candle. Lets see how long it takes before we burn the house down.
3. Dradle = small top kids use to bet chocolate , Menorah = a nine branched candelabrum lit during Hanukkah.
Ponies in the Dorms
As I have said before I work with college students. One of them turned this in about the building he lives.
"This hall is a great place to live. You can make great friends with the ponies who live around you and your roommate, if you have one. I really like the casual atmosphere here too. I don’t feel like I live in a public dorm with a bunch of strangers. That’s how casual it feels. The ponies here are very friendly and won’t mind helping each other out. The events held here are amazing as well. "
- I didn't know we were housing ponies here this university
- This would explain the large amount of noise violations from this area ponies do make lots of noise
- Clearly we need to better educate our children if they cant tell the difference between a 18 year old person and a young horse.
"This hall is a great place to live. You can make great friends with the ponies who live around you and your roommate, if you have one. I really like the casual atmosphere here too. I don’t feel like I live in a public dorm with a bunch of strangers. That’s how casual it feels. The ponies here are very friendly and won’t mind helping each other out. The events held here are amazing as well. "
- I didn't know we were housing ponies here this university
- This would explain the large amount of noise violations from this area ponies do make lots of noise
- Clearly we need to better educate our children if they cant tell the difference between a 18 year old person and a young horse.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Its not illegal... your confused
As I mentioned in my Bio I work with college students. Today I woke up and found this little gem in my inbox;( again note names where changed)
"It has come to my attention recently that my roommate was
able to go to our RA and change our roommate agreement
without my consent... We had originally agreed to only use our own things, but Bob(my roommate) changed the agreement to allow him to be able to use my things...
As I am sure you are aware, the roommate agreement is a
legal contract between two roommates which can only be changed with... Barring this unfortunate illegal action..."
This is what I would have liked to have said to this student:
1. Your RA did not change you roommate agreement as I have them locked away
2. Your roommate lied to you so he can use your stuff
3. ITS CALLED A ROOMMATE AGREEMENT...its a agreement between the two of you to be nice with each other this is not binding contract.
Oh Monday how I Love you...
"It has come to my attention recently that my roommate was
able to go to our RA and change our roommate agreement
without my consent... We had originally agreed to only use our own things, but Bob(my roommate) changed the agreement to allow him to be able to use my things...
As I am sure you are aware, the roommate agreement is a
legal contract between two roommates which can only be changed with... Barring this unfortunate illegal action..."
This is what I would have liked to have said to this student:
1. Your RA did not change you roommate agreement as I have them locked away
2. Your roommate lied to you so he can use your stuff
3. ITS CALLED A ROOMMATE AGREEMENT...its a agreement between the two of you to be nice with each other this is not binding contract.
Oh Monday how I Love you...
Friday, November 9, 2012
I wish this wasn't real!
I pulled up the latest email from my family and this is what I found ( I changed the names for obvious reasons.)
"Grandma, can now returns to Sunshine Hills now that they have the diarrhea out break under control"
I don't even know where to begin
1. Why do I want to know this information about my grandma (gross?)
2. How did a diarrhea outbreak occur did they give all the old people soap?
3. Who was in charge of changing all the dippers and realized they had this issue?
Thank you family for another fun filled email!
"Grandma, can now returns to Sunshine Hills now that they have the diarrhea out break under control"
I don't even know where to begin
1. Why do I want to know this information about my grandma (gross?)
2. How did a diarrhea outbreak occur did they give all the old people soap?
3. Who was in charge of changing all the dippers and realized they had this issue?
Thank you family for another fun filled email!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Twitterpated...
Yesterday I was talking with a staff member. I referenced "Twitterpated" from Bambi. My staff member who is about 19 looked at me dumb founded as though I just grew an extra arm. Then he stated with no-uncertainty "I'm not on 'Twitter' I don't know what your talking about." #DTJH
This has lead me to the following conclusions.
1. At 26 I am no longer cool
2. Twitter has ruined the world.
Twitterpated for all you who don't remember the first tweet!
Have a good day all!
This has lead me to the following conclusions.
1. At 26 I am no longer cool
2. Twitter has ruined the world.
Twitterpated for all you who don't remember the first tweet!
Have a good day all!
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