Its not illegal... your confused

As I mentioned in my Bio I work with college students.  Today I woke up and found this little gem in my inbox;( again note names where changed)
"It has come to my attention recently that my roommate was
able to go to our RA and change our roommate agreement
without my consent... We had originally agreed to only use our own things, but Bob(my roommate) changed the agreement to allow him to be able to use my things...
As I am sure you are aware, the roommate agreement is a
legal contract between two roommates which can only be changed with... Barring this unfortunate illegal action..." 

This is what I would have liked to have said to this student:
1. Your RA did not change you roommate agreement as I have them locked away
2. Your roommate lied to you so he can use your stuff
3. ITS CALLED A ROOMMATE AGREEMENT...its a agreement between the two of you to  be nice with each other this is not binding contract.  

Oh Monday how I Love you...

I wish this wasn't real!

I pulled up the latest email from my family and this is what I found ( I changed the names for obvious reasons.)

"Grandma, can now returns to Sunshine Hills now that they have the diarrhea out break under control"

I don't even know where to begin
1. Why do I want to know this information about my grandma (gross?)
2. How did a diarrhea outbreak occur did they give all the old people soap?
3. Who was in charge of changing all the dippers and realized they had this issue?

Thank you family for another fun filled email!
 

Twitterpated...

Yesterday I was talking with a staff member.  I referenced "Twitterpated"  from Bambi.  My staff member who is about 19 looked at me dumb founded as though I just grew an extra arm.  Then he stated with no-uncertainty  "I'm not on 'Twitter' I don't know what your talking about." #DTJH
This has lead me to the following conclusions.
         1. At 26 I am no longer cool
         2. Twitter has ruined the world.
   Twitterpated for all you who don't remember the first tweet!
Have a good day all!